The Winter's Tale: A Colloquial Summary

July 27, 2018

At Classics on the Rocks, we fancy ourselves somewhat known for our tongue-in-cheek, contemporary, relatable plot summaries in our playbills each summer. It's finally gotten to the point where they're just too giggle-worthy to keep to ourselves any longer. So if you've just been pretending to know what we're talking about when we reference plot points in The Winter's Tale, well, it's your lucky day.

 

WARNING: ALL of the spoilers.

 

Winter to Spring. Death to life. A bear. And a statue-ish. The end.

 

That’s pretty much all you need to know - but just in case here’s what’s what...

 

This king, Leontes, and his BFF Polixenes have been chilling in Sicilia. Leontes doesn’t want him to go. So he tells his preggers wife Hermione to convince him to stay. She gets the job done obvi. But then Leontes is like, “Why was she  better at convincing him than I was? Is she sleeping with that MoFo?” So, he throws her in jail and tells Camillo to off Polixenes. (They run away instead.) Hermy has her baby while in prison. Her BFF and badass chick Paulina takes the baby to Leontes and says “Dude, can’t you tell it’s yours? It looks just like you!” Leontes wants none of it and insists it be killed.